SALT IS SALINE, NOT SWEET (Be Real, Be Free.)

Sometimes you think your situation is so helpless, not until you free your mind. We want to want. We want to feel a way we at present don't, thus our myopic vistas blur what our faith should see on the horizon. We want the game to be what the game could never be- bigger than life. Life is bigger than the game.

An important reality that affects us at present, presently and in the far future is I am me. You are you. Faking won't fake that reality, so let's just call hoes hoes and bath the shades in light. Light from a torch of truth. We need between our minds and sense of reasoning a true truce.

It sure would be a pleasant parley. It's difficult facing reality, but it's a phase that must always re-occur. Here's how: reality beckons; find your place and stay there. You're unique.

Talking about me, I just want to be able to express myself without mandatory acceding to what someone else is unconsciously trying to make me express. That's tainted expression and it's expensive. I want to be free.

Ara 'deinde
01/'15

RUDE AWAKENING

It's hard to find an answer when questions won't come out. It's hard to find a reason when all you have is doubt. With the passage of time, events and people through my life, I found it hard to know what and who to hold on to as identities. Seeing into myself was also hard. I couldn't see my way out, so that was an influence on what I could perceive of me. Defining yourself is just as easy as hitting a nail into a concrete wall with your fist.

My effigy always morphed each time I stared at the mirror; that's not the big, bad deal. The issue rather was that I at times didn't know what I was changing into. The psychological image always had a different tale to tell. At a time, I began to hate my mirror. My friends. My cares. My family. Every entity that had something to say about me, who had a clue of who I was but never could see the big picture of me. I had open eyes and open doors, but I didn't know what I was searching for.

Life needs reasoning and reasons for reasoning. You can't find meaning to life, especially with its many distortions and obfuscations, if all you listen to is the noise of macerating dissenters. I've over a period of unfolding self-consciousness realised that no matter how talented, connected or extraordinary you are, picking joys out of sorrows and seeing vistas amidst blurred uncertainties and situations is an inevitable exigency of life.

Everything that has pros always have cons, but the path to true happiness and self discovery is seeing honey when you see a swarm of bees, and not venomous stingers. There's more to life than parochial pessimism.

Realism and inspiration catches up with my mind in unexpected places.

Ara 'deinde.
December 7, 2014.
MMA2, 05:45pm.

WEIRD...

I download more than a hundred songs at an internet cafe, select all the songs, click cut, and before i say Jack Robinson, the system's screen goes off. For a moment, I pray inwardly that the worst hasn't happened, but then the cafe attendant confirms my fears. 'Pele,' the cafe attendant pleas. 'Things like that happen once in a while sir. Please, bear with us', he says calmly, yanking unwittingly at my carefully concealed temper. I start to laugh, the opposite of what I would probably have done involuntarily and without a hassle.

And I get up slowly, muttering to myself 'just one of those things', and briskly exit the cafe. What else under heaven would have sufficed well enough for me to do at that instant? 400 naira and priceless time already down the drain........

As if that was not enough, as soon as I finished typing my little ordeal above into my phone, it went off for no just reason. Now, isn't that weird?

Ara 'deinde,
November 4, 2014.